Change
As part of the autumnal Equinox Vision Quest, I facilitated a discussion on the Anishinabe teachings of the 4 Gifts of the Woman. As we sat beneath Grandmother Cedar, we discussed the light and the shadow side of each gift and how the medicine that we carry is related to life and to our responsibilities toward self, families, communities, and the land. At the same time, in a different location, the men were discussing their gifts. In the end we came together and talked about the importance of integrating the feminine and the masculine into our consciousness. We shared what we learned so that we could come to a point of understanding about each other, our gifts, and our roles. The four feminine gifts are: Unconditional Love, Creation, Cleansing, and Change.
As a woman, my body undergoes many transformations from Maiden, to Mother, to Crone. I managed to transition through the first two of these stages with curiosity, joy, and excitement. It was easy and I welcomed the change. The transition from Mother to Crone, though, has been difficult; I was not ready for this transition. In many ways I feel like I was shoved into this new life phase without any warning. In October of 2009, I discovered, much to my joy, that I was pregnant. It was unexpected but we were very happy and looking forward to meeting and welcoming a new child into this world. Things didn’t quite work out as we expected. By the end of January I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma. The onset of this cancer resulted in a miscarriage, and the ensuing treatment in full blown menopause. One day, I was carrying life within my womb and the next I was childless and unable to conceive again. To add to the trauma, the cancer ate holes through my bones, literally doubling me over in pain. As a 40 year old woman I was as physically frail as my Grandmother. I have had to come to terms with my own mortality (talk about a humbling experience) and uncertainty has taken on new meaning. I have grieved and have spent many hours in contemplation. My family and my community have rallied around me and have held me gently in their embrace. This has caused me to witness, first hand, the power that communal energy can have on healing. Nature, ritual, and ceremony have also helped me through this transition. I have spent time with Death and am growing more comfortable walking hand in hand with him. In doing so, I have become more keenly aware of the beauty that surrounds me and of the miraculous process of birth and life. In many ways, I have been reborn.
The last couple of years have been a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual journey. Although you will never hear me said I am glad I have cancer, I am settled with the changes that have taken place and am filled with gratitude for the shift in consciousness that has occurred. The rite of passage in the midst of which I find myself is guiding me in stepping into a new role within my community and in many respects I feel stronger in my gifts. I understand more deeply Unconditional Love, my tears and acceptance of this all have taught me the true meaning of Cleansing, I see that there are many ways that I can honour the gift of Creation, and the way in which I have embraced this Change has been transformative. There has been grief for the things that are no longer. Many tears have been shed but I am able to see that that grief is deeply steeped in love; beautiful, heart-wrenching love.
I believe that change always results in a shift in consciousness. Processing it well is what results in transformation. As Summer shape shifts into Autumn I am curious to know how the change of season is manifesting in your life. I look forward to hearing your words.
I have always loved nature. It's where I'm most at peace. For 10 amazing and intense years, I had the privilege of sharing my love for wild places with youth and families struggling to find their way in mainstream culture. We kayaked, hiked, spoke our truth at Council Fire, and formed uncommon bonds that to this day remain a source of inspiration. The place we did this work is called Ravenwood. It is a healing forest.
In 2010, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a rare and incurable plasma cell cancer. I needed a stem cell transplant and a radical change of lifestyle. Along with a good medical team and a strong and loving circle of people supporting me, Ravenwood saved my life. 8 years later, I'm still here. Ravenwood is now home to my family. Although I can no longer do the physical work of a wilderness guide, it remains my calling to share the healing powers of nature. I still call myself a guide but the places I now navigate and explore are the wild terrains that live within the human soul. Nature is my co-guide.
I work with the natural world to help make sense of inner emotions and life experiences. I believe that spending time in nature fosters awareness and interconnection to the world around us, providing the space for inward reflection and the potential for transformation. How we encounter and interpret the natural world creates a personal narrative that gives meaning to experiences and emotions allowing us to develop new ways of understanding ourselves and feeling fully integrated in our lives. Through connection with the natural world, we ultimately become connected to our ‘inner’ nature. Personal distress can be alleviated by developing the mutual connection between inside and outside.
The process of change I foster involves restoring balance to the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions, reconnecting to the Earth, and adopting life-long practices that help incorporate new behaviour and thought patterns into a congruent way of life. My work as guide is to help reveal and cultivate the health and sanity which is already there rather than manipulate or modify sick people to be better adjusted. This requires a focus on healing through a process of whole-ing (recognizing the wholeness that already exists within), rather than healing or fixing a problem by eliminating it; wholeness-centered (holistic) instead of pathology-centered
I work with a range of practices including mindfulness and awareness, experiential activities, direct contact with nature, narrative therapy, environmental action, journaling, ritual, ceremony, and play.
As an aboriginal woman of Métis descent, I weave cultural teachings into my work, inspiring personal growth and a love and respect for the natural world.
Academically, I hold a Bachelor's in education, from McGill University and a Master’s of Arts in transpersonal psychology with a concentration in ecopsychology, from Naropa University. I have also completed masters level clinical counselling courses in counselling theory, family systems therapy, group therapy, and research methods, and have trained with the Vancouver School of Narrative Therapy. I am a recognized facilitator of Joanna Macy's Work That Reconnects and a Level 3 Reiki Usui Practitioner.
